i’m not a blogger.

Without fail, at the onset of each new year I half-commit to rejoining the blogosphere. My vision is glorious: The blog will be beautiful. It’ll feature witty banter and the pull-at-your-heartstrings type of stuff that makes commenters go “LOL” but also “AWW.” It’ll give snapshots into my life without being completely narcissistic. (I know. Impossible. Because blogs, by nature, are completely narcissistic. But whatevs.) It’ll motivate others to go and do. It’ll be crafty and charming. My revamped blog be so amazing.

And then…it isn’t. Because I never bother. I throw a few words together, or to readers’ dismay and my embarrassment, I just reblog something. I’m a blog commitaphobe. The only time I ever regularly blogged was when I was getting paid to do it as a college student. But now I get paid to write.

And maybe that’s why my blog is a fail. Being a real-life writer doesn’t necessarily make for a great blogger. Or really, even a mediocre one. (Unless you’re Justine, who is my blogspiration. [See what I did there?] {SO MANY BRACKETS!}). It doesn’t escape me that writing for a living makes me one lucky lady.

BUT. Because of my journalism education, I overanalyze and edit every. single. post in my head until it’s really not worth posting. Who is the audience? What if my mom reads it? What if my friends read it? What if my frienemies read it? What if no one reads it? Is the writing too offensive? Not offensive enough? Too personal? Too surface? Too professional? Too Christian? Too snarky? Too mom-ish? Too girl-ish? And of course, what about the tone? The flow? The grammar? The pageviews? The design?

I’m getting so awkwardly flustered just thinking about it that the above questions almost made me select all and delete this post. But I’m powering through it.

So, the point of the post? I’m resolving to pull a Nike and just. do. it. (Also resolving not to write any more ’90s slogans, but I make no promises.)

I’m publicly committing to just write and publish and go with it. I’m letting my hair down and I’m going to try my best not to self-censor and I am going to write!

Because I might not be a blogger. But I’m a writer, damnit.

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