The past year and half has been a kind of intense transition time for us, for me. After four years of marriage, we moved four hours away from our metro area to a small town, where Jonny started his first position in full-time ministry. I was pregnant during the move, and we added a new baby to our family during this small window of time.
We’ve learned lessons and I’ve seen the best and worst of myself. Juggling my freelance work while staying home with a very active 3-year-old boy and a baby, while figuring out what it means to be a “pastor’s wife” in a place with a very different culture than what I’m used to has not been easy.
Yesterday, I woke up just knowing that I had to cut my hair. The ends were crunchy and split-endy and it just needed to happen immediately. I’d already been feeling grouchy about things (read: Jonny’s impending travel week for seminary), but when no salon in the area was even open past noon, my mood hit another level. I was frustrated and angry about a lot of things and, to be honest, I had waited too long to take a break. I had let ugly things fester + grow inside of me, and I didn’t realize the impending doom until it was too late.
I whined and pouted about every life circumstance to Jonny, and each complaint grew larger than the last. I’m so thankful for a patient husband who saw through the drama to see a woman + a wife + a mom who, despite her (many) shortcomings, just needed a break.
So, he stayed home with Joseph + Asher, and I drove the 45 minutes (yeah, you read that right) to get to a salon to cut my hair. (BANGS!!!)
I ordered a panini at Panera and got wild with a half-caf coffee. I stopped by Target and added some fall boots to the boxes of diapers in the cart. I had been holding my breath for way too long and finally exhaled.
And I came home a lot lighter than when I left. Did it solve all of my problems? No, but it gave me some perspective.
I guess the old adage that you can’t take care of others if you don’t take care of yourself is kind of true. We need breaks. Jesus took breaks. He had definite times of rest. I don’t want to oversimplify things (or overspiritualize them), but I know that rest is not only good, but it’s vital to a healthy life. I think God intended it that way.
So married people, here’s my advice: When you see your husband/or wife on the fritz, nudge them to take a break. I wouldn’t have taken the initiative to take an evening out without Jonny suggesting it. Living the Kingdom at home means loving others as we love ourselves. It means feeding the kids and putting them to bed and doing the laundry so your wife can get her bangs cut and go to Target in peace.
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