i am restless

i am restless i run like the ocean to find your shore, anchor graphic, switchfoot restless, wrestling with god,

I get the feeling that I’m meant for more. The pull in my soul that I’m living in a swirling tension of now and not yet.

I am a woman wrestling with God. Who feels the Spirit pushing and pulling and leading in the vapor that is this life.

I breathe it and it fills my lungs. I inhale and exhale and gasp for more.

I am a woman restless, looking for the hope nestled in grace, the power wrapped in humility, the outstretched hand I can’t see.

I know I’m not the only one. I’ve joined a handful of women committed to reading Restless by Jennie Allen, and I’m so looking forward to dig in and hear God speak.

Because I am restless.

Below is a song that begins to put words to what I’m feeling.

I am the sea on a moonless night,
Calling, falling, slipping tides
I am the leaky, dripping pipes
The endless aching drops of light
I am the raindrop falling down,
Always longing for the deeper ground
I am the broken, breaking seas
Even my blood finds ways to bleed

Even the rivers ways to run
Even the rain to reach the sun
Even my thirsty streams,
Even in my dreams

I am restless, I am restless
I am restless, looking for you
I am restless, I run like the ocean to find your shore
I’m looking for you

I am the thorn stuck in your side,
I am the one that you left behind,
I am the dried up doubting eyes
Looking for the well that won’t run dry

Running hard for the other side
The world that I’ve always been denied
Running hard for the infinite
With the tears of the saints and hypocrites

Oh blood of black and white and gray
Death and life and night and day
One by one by one
We let our rivers run

I am restless, I am restless
I am restless, looking for you
I am restless, I run like the ocean to find your shore
Looking for you

I can hear you breathing,
I can hear you leading
More than just a feeling
More than just a feeling
I can feel you reaching
Pushing through the ceiling
’til the final healing
I’m looking for you

Until the sea of glass we meet
At last completed and complete
The tide of tear and pain subside
Laughter drinks them dry

I’ll be waiting
Anticipating
All that I aim for
What I was made for
With every heartbeat
All of my blood bleeds
Running inside me
Looking for you

I am restless, I am restless
I am restless, looking for you
I am restless, I run like the ocean to find your shore
I’m looking for you

I can feel you breathing
I can feel you leading
More than just a feeling
More than just a feeling
I can feel you reaching
Pushing through the ceiling
’til the final healing
I’m looking for you
I’m looking for you

– ‘Restless’ by Switchfoot’s Jon Foreman (emphasis mine)

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About Kayla

I'm a full-time journalist turned work-at-home writer. I'm hitched to a shaggy-haired pastor and we're smitten with two wild + crazy boys: Joseph (3), who joined our family via international adoption, and Asher (1), who came the old-fashioned way. I drink strong coffee, I like pretty things, and I believe there's beauty in the broken. I hope Many Sparrows will encourage you to find worth and live a story worth sharing. When I’m not changing diapers and sweeping Cheerios, I’m tickling the ivory keys of my old school MacBook as a freelance writer and editor. And when I’m not doing that, I’m sneaking into the living room in the wee hours of the night to blog about all of the things. (Primarily faith, family, style, adoption, design, and happy thoughts.)
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2 Responses to i am restless

  1. nicmarie17 says:

    This my favorite song off that album and one I contemplate quite frequently. 🙂

  2. Pingback: run your race: what i'm passionate about - Many Sparrows

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