Though you may have been sipping Pumpkin Spice Lattes for a while now, (Can we talk about that? Because I’m not a fan.) today marks the first official day of fall.
As the air gets crisp and the leaves start to fall, I’ve been thinking this new season. Where am I going? What am I doing? How? Why?!
Jonny and I have been discussing our hopes and dreams, our shared vision for our family, the mission we feel God has put us on.
We’re both the type of people that have a hard time sitting still. Some people are called to go, and some people are called to stay. That’s nice, but of course, we are called go. Always. To do. To be. To keep. plowing. forward.
For the last few months, I wrestled with that. I was stuck. My feet were slipping from underneath me. I couldn’t get on solid ground to start climbing my next hill. I just couldn’t get my footing. I asked God to open doors that didn’t open. I struggled. I wrestled. I prayed and I got an answer, but it wasn’t the answer I wanted to hear.
And that answer was to wait. To be still and know, if you will. Are you kidding me?! Me? Wait? Lolz, God. You must not know me.
Dwelling in the space God has created for us isn’t easy. Us Christians like to talk like it is. We like to string together pretty words and pretend that we understand the canopy of Grace we live under, and sometimes we do catch glimpses of that extravagant, scandalous truth…but sometimes, we stand on sinking sand and find ourselves grasping.
Because if we could just touch his hem. If we could just meet Him — if He’d just meet us. Just a glimpse, God. Just a peek at your glory. Just something, God. Anything.
Because the wait is hard.
Because I can be brave when I have a task at hand. I can love big when I’m chasing after the passion He’s ignited in my soul (Joseph’s adoption comes to mind), but when the Spirit tells me to be still…I don’t know what to do.
I don’t know what to do because in that moment I realize I’m not in control. I like to make lists, execute the plan (well), and then cross it off my list, moving on to the next task. But when that to-do list is ripped away from my hands, my hands tremble. What can I do? What do I do when there’s no plan in sight?
How could I possibly trust God to take care of me? How could I really believe that He has my best interests in mind?
I have to admit my infinite weakness before I can live in his infinite power. When I lay down my control, when I’m standing with no path in sight, that’s when I realize there’s nothing worth more. All the power in the world can’t compare to His presence. His glory.
In his letter to Ephesus, Paul wrote this.
And this is it, friends. This. is. it.
8-10 And so here I am, preaching and writing about things that are way over my head, the inexhaustible riches and generosity of Christ. My task is to bring out in the open and make plain what God, who created all this in the first place, has been doing in secret and behind the scenes all along. Through followers of Jesus like yourselves gathered in churches, this extraordinary plan of God is becoming known and talked about even among the angels!
11-13 All this is proceeding along lines planned all along by God and then executed in Christ Jesus. When we trust in him, we’re free to say whatever needs to be said, bold to go wherever we need to go. So don’t let my present trouble on your behalf get you down. Be proud!
14-19 My response is to get down on my knees before the Father, this magnificent Father who parcels out all heaven and earth. I ask him to strengthen you by his Spirit—not a brute strength but a glorious inner strength—that Christ will live in you as you open the door and invite him in. And I ask him that with both feet planted firmly on love, you’ll be able to take in with all followers of Jesus the extravagant dimensions of Christ’s love. Reach out and experience the breadth! Test its length! Plumb the depths! Rise to the heights! Live full lives, full in the fullness of God.
20-21 God can do anything, you know—far more than you could ever imagine or guess or request in your wildest dreams! He does it not by pushing us around but by working within us, his Spirit deeply and gently within us. [Ephesians 3:8-21, The Message]