As I mentioned yesterday, this week I’m exploring what it looks like to live free at home.
I want our home to be a deep exhale on a cold winter’s day. I want it to be the type of space where you can hang your scarf on the homemade coat rack, shake off snowy boots next to the pile of mismatched shoes, and cozy up with a well-loved blanket.
I want our home to be peaceful and unpretentious, welcoming and warm. When you walk across the threshold, I want you to know that you are so loved.
I think what I want and what we have are two different things. Drop-in visitors make me nervous and self-conscious, and I always find myself apologizing for the mess. (Though, The Nesting Place: It Doesn’t Have to Be Perfect to Be Beautiful
I find myself having a hard time hosting, not because I don’t love community, but because I have this voice in my head that says, “If it can’t be perfect, don’t do it at all.”
I think I’m kind of, totally, 100 percent off on this.
Hospitality doesn’t mean dust-free.
Hospitality means generous living. It means a life poured out and conversations around the table. It means joy. It means rest. It means none of us have it figured out, but we know life is better together.
When we think about our homes, let’s make room for grace.
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This is part of 31 daily posts of living free. Living freely is something we do momentarily, but to fully live free? That’s a transformation — a total change not only in what we’re like, but in who we are. You can find all the 31 Days of Living Free posts here. Disclaimer: Affiliate links used when applicable.
many sparrows 
I love this thought. Having people in your home is such a rarity among communities of people in today’s world. Friends meet at bars or restaurants, but not often in living rooms. We host 10+ people every week on Wednesdays, and sometimes on weekends too, and when I look around at our neighbors, nobody else seems to ever have friends or guests over. It makes me think about how unique and special our gatherings really are.
Inviting people into your home is a risk – will they judge the cleanliness? Will they judge the interior decorating? Will they judge my house as a whole? My neighborhood? Sure, we try to make things cute and have things cleaned up, but it’s never perfect. If you wait until something is just right – in any circumstance, be it having people over or something totally different – the reality is that it will never happen. It very much cultivates vulnerability within a friend group to invite people over and actually let them see a little bit of your mess; your real life.
Our brains tend to operate towards identifying threats rather than opportunities. It’s part of our evolutionary biology (a risky subject to comment on to a Christian audience, I know). So instead of seeing the chance to invite someone into your home (and therefor your life), we see the risk of them judging us. It just takes a change in perspective, which is certainly hard to do, but possible with some intention.
Feel like I’m rambling.. thanks for sharing, Kayla. Lookin forward to seeing you guys soon!
-J Fritz
Oh, gosh, this really “hit home” for me. Ha! I crack myself up. 😉
Anyway though, I am right there with you, sister. I want to be this Wonderful Hostess but then I clam up and feel like my home isn’t clean or catalog-y enough (omg! there’s a lego on the floor! hang up your sweater! why are there dirty socks in the middle of the floor?! omg the toilet needs to be cleaned! omg! i can smell the neighbor’s cooking in here! (apt living), etc.).
I think I need to put this up in the living room, kitchen, and bathroom. Or, maybe I’ll just get it tattooed to my forehead. Who knows:
“Hospitality doesn’t mean dust-free.
Hospitality means generous living. It means a life poured out and conversations around the table. It means joy. It means rest. It means none of us have it figured out, but we know life is better together.
When we think about our homes, let’s make room for grace.”
Thanks so much for sharing — this was just what I needed to read!