Women are Scary. (You may see that I capitalized Scary, because it’s just that important. All my editing experience goes out the window when emphasizing blanket statements on my blog.)
So, just to reiterate: Women are Scary.
I realize that this means that I, too, am scary. Everyone who lives or has lived with me (shout out to college roommates!) can attest that I can be quite petrifying, especially before 10 a.m. But that’s neither here nor there.
What we’re here to talk about today is…making friends. Especially for those of us who take care of small humans. Our topic of the day? Momlationships.
Melanie Dale has written a book (Women Are Scary: The Totally Awkward Adventure of Friends Mom Friends) that has made me LOL (my favorite!) and also examine my heart when it comes to making friends of the mom variety. She dives deep into “dating” for moms. It’s good stuff. I’ve even taken steps out of my comfort zone because of it. I’ve embraced my weirdness, initiated random conversations at the park, attended story times, and even had a few coffee dates (Rounding second base, you guys!).
You have to watch that video. This woman deserves a fist-pump for going for it. I love people that own their weird and let their freak flag fly (Family Stone reference!). And while she is totally funny and peppers her work with movie quotes (Anchorman! Zoolander!), the heart of her words are so real.
Because ladies? As daunting/awkward/terrifying as it is to meet new friends and cultivate relationships…we need each other. We’re kinda built to do life together, to raise our little creatures together, to commiserate about potty training misadventures and chug copious amounts of coffee and hug each other when life gets hard.
But we live in an individual culture that values Mine! over Us! and it has hurt us. Any of us who have traveled to developing countries and have seen mamas who work together in community to raise their children can attest that here in the U.S. in 2015, we don’t have everything quite right.
Way before her book deal, Melanie has legitimately cared for mothers around the world, for ethical consumption of goods, for encouraging women to do what we can, right where we’re at. To be Kingdom dwellers and give others the opportunity to glimpse and enter into God’s goodness and grace.
We don’t lack food, clean water, or clothing, but we lack relationships. Whereas my friends in northern Uganda reside in small mud homes and live life together, outside, as a community, gathering at the borehole for water, working their gardens side by side, and looking out for each other’s children, we live in elaborate homes with multiple rooms and water that comes out our own faucets. We drive our cars into garages and close the doors behind us, and we can go days and weeks without interacting with the neighbors unless we’re intentional about making friends.
And while I will continue to champion the orphans and widows whom I love, I’ve realized that it’s no less noble to reach out to the hurting moms and kids right in my own community. If we can learn how to develop real, soul-soothing relationships, there’s no stopping what we can do together for our kids, our families, and the world. But first we have to stop being scary and scared of each other. (Melanie Dale, Women Are Scary)
I’m not getting paid to review Women Are Scary, but after reading an advanced copy I’d be remiss not to share this with you. Her team has generously offered to send a copy to a Many Sparrows reader. I’m a member of a local MOPS group and I would so love to get a copy of this into the hands of each frazzled, beautiful member of the tribe. (And, um, that’s all of us!)
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